On No

Screen shot from Duotrope 2/18/2017.  Poems sent this month. 

I hate the word no.  Ask my husband, my children, my friends.  I hate it. 

And it’s not that I was spoiled as a little girl.  I wasn’t.  Indeed, no was a frequent companion.  So as an adult, if I hear no too often, I fall into a well.

That makes it challenging to be a writer. Working on my resistance to no is one of the primary self-advancement tasks that I’ve set for myself this year. 

Even before this year, I’ve been working with my aversion to no.   Still--no, we don’t want these poems--no, we can’t represent you--no, this group, fellowship, etc.  is not for you--hits like a punch in the gut. 

I hate NO.

So, I’m practicing my own aversion therapy.  This month I’ve submitted 120 poems to very low acceptance journals (<1.5% acceptance rates) with quick turn-around times.  I’ve gotten 38 no’s so far.  But I haven’t stopped there.  I committed to sending the poems back out to another journal without compunction, without revision.  I’ve been busily checking off my submissions, posting them on Duotrope, and trying to smile when I send the poems off to the next journal. 

But today I woke up cranky.  When my husband asked what was wrong, I told him I was sick of no.  As an antidote, I sent out 31 more poems.  I’m feeling a little bit better.

I’m a writer.  It is a given that I will hear no more frequently than I will hear yes.  I’m trying to make friends with it.  I’m trying to remember that it’s not about me.  I’m doing my best work.  I’m sending out excellent poems and children’s stories. 

I’m looking for the audience that will say yes.  I will find it if I can wade through enough no's.

A Life in Paper: Organzing Poetry

© Lori Gravley 

I know, many of you reading this are digital natives, and you’ve totally figured out how to do all this work without ever killing a tree.  Me, I buy recycled paper. 

Essentially, my paper file management for poetry mimics my computer file management. Computer file management comes first, but the paper management is essential for me. 

I have one giant notebook with three sections: Submitted Work, Work to Submit, and Published. 

I keep that published section because it makes me feel good, but it also means that I have paper copies of every single poem that I think is good enough to publish.  I created this before I began putting my book of poems together as a way to track my work that felt more concrete, but having this notebook made the process of putting my book together much easier.

Within each of these sections, I’ve arranged the poems in alphabetical order. 

The biggest drawback of my paper system is that it’s not portable. It lives on my desk.  I may take it to a local coffee shop once in a while, but usually I have to work on this book on my huge dining room table. 

I wish I could let it go, but I can’t.  Indeed, I was quite stuck in my progress on my book until I committed to and found a paper system that worked for me.  If you feel stuck, you might give a simplified paper filing system a try. 

Resource Sharing: Reading as Research

Check out the amazing presenters in this year's ReFoReMo.

Early in 2016, I found a link to something called ReFoReMo (Reading for Research Month).  I promptly signed up.  After all, since I'd committed to reading 1,000 picture books in 2016, I might as well get the most out of them.

Boy, did ReFoReMo help.  A wonderful community of writers shared tools for keeping track of reading, approaches to texts, and success stories from authors who had truly turned their reading into research for their own stories.

I discovered some of my new favorite picture books during ReFoReMo last year, and I look forward to seeing what I'll discover this year.  Sign-ups start on Feb. 15.  I have my calendar marked.  I hope you'll join me.

Find out more at ReFoReMo 2017.